My life with the Avengers
by Kalisca
Summary: 15th prompt of my 30 Kisses Challenge: Test 'I, your humble Darcy, decided to share with you some informations on my life with the Avengers. Be prepared to read on some exclusive stuff - well, as much as Agent C allows me to - on your favorite superheroes and ex-villain' DarcyxLoki


**This is the 15th prompt of my 30 Kisses Challenge, using 30 random words I picked with a word generator. The challenge will not be centered on one specific pairing or fandom.**

**The word was **_test _**(The complete list is available on my profile page).**

**Disclaimer: The universe and characters of the Avengers belong to Marvel.**

**My life with the Avengers**

I, your humble Darcy, decided to share with you some informations on my life with the Avengers. Be prepared to read on some exclusive stuff - well, as much as Agent C allows me to - on your favorite superheroes and ex-villain! Being the only sane person around here isn't always easy, let me tell you. I have to work each day with the fear something might explode in my face, or someone turn green and destroy everything. Okay, Doctor Banner is really nice and calm for someone who has a violent other guy inside him, and he's only been polite with me, so he's really not a threat.

Tony Stark is the troublemaker of the team, in my opinion. Well, him and Loki, but let's not talk of the latter one yet. You might think Tony is serious when it somes to his work, but ah! He's not at all. He won't miss an occasion to pull a prank on us, and when they're not against me, they're funny as hell.

For example, the other day, I ran into Captain America during lunch. They were back from a mission and on their way to a debriefing, so he was still in his uniform (Yum, by the way. He'd win the Best Ass 2013 if there was an award for that). The thing was that his uniform wasn't blue, it was pink! To say he was pissed is an euphemism, especially with the pictures I took of him. Sadly I can't post them here, but I'm sure one of you ladies is talented with Photoshop and can edit one of his official photos. The Captain had his revenge on Stark, but I'll keep that for another post. It gave me ideas for a few fanfictions.

Tony never seriously injured anyone though - even if Thor did become violent when he found his pop-tart stash emptied. He can be a real pain in the ass, but also a real friend when he wants to be. He allowed us to stay in his tower, after all.

Anyway, where was I going with all these feels? Oh, yes, so Tony is a douche, Bruce is a sweetheart, and Steve is a bit awkward around me, even though he was a lot more at first. From what I gathered, he never knew how to talk to women, even less to women as fabulous as me. Two of my main weapons are my boobs after all, so I guess they're really effective on him. Can't blame the guy. At least he's not ogling them like Stark does. It's not like I've had a lot of opportunities to speak to the man either, he tends to stay out of the labs as much as possible, and I stay there most of the time with Jane. I work for her, after all.

I did spend some time with Hawkeye though, and I really do like him. Him and his big arms, of course. He'd get the Best Arms 2013 award. He tends to stay a lot in the vents though, and you never know when he's around. One time he actually slipped in my room while I wasn't there and searched through my DVD collection and found a few _compromising_ ones. I'm not angry about that anymore, because man you didn't see his face when I menaced him to tell everybody his little secret if he didn't give them back to me. Sorry ladies, I can't tell what it is, it's about some guy with a cute smile and a tie. Oops, did I say too much already?

Someone I can't tell much about is Black Widow. I've never really seen her, but she's scary as hell. I don't want to get on her bad side. I know though that Loki doesn't like her, so that means she's high on my awesomeness list.

Do I need to talk about Thor, now? I've already shared with you the events that happened a few months ago in New Mexico and some everyday adventures of him discovering the mysteries of the Midgardian habits. If you haven't read them already, I highly recommend doing so. Thor is not an idiot though, he simply doesn't function like us humans do. That's why I don't feel guilty of laughing when something happens, like the time he nearly destroyed Stark's precious coffee machine when he tried to make himself a simple americano. Even Steve knows how that machine works.

So, you can imagine how those people live together. I'm probably the most sane one here...

Oh! I almost forgot to talk about Loki. He wouldn't like that if he knew, would he? Good. As you already know from the news, Thor came back on Earth with his adopted brother a few weeks ago. I heard from Thor himself Loki was better and didn't want to rule us. And he believed him! Come on, he's not called God of MISCHIEF for nothing. Ugh. If I could tase the guy, I would, trust me. To put it simply, Loki is insane. I don't know why (maybe because of my awesomeness or because I'm the most 'normal' person around here), but he seems to have decided I was the perfect pray, or mouse, or whatever you want to call it, to play with. He always has a remark or a comment about me being lower than him, something mean, and it's seriously getting on my nerves. You probably know how I react to people attacking me by now; I bite back. Jane actually had to stop me from biting him. Since that time, he tends to stay away when he insults me. I'm sure that if he continues like that, not even Thor will be able to protect his precious adopted brother from me.

_Darcy, Jane's awesome sidekick~_

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Okay. I don't know how to feel about this, so I guess I'll write it down and... yeah. So today I was trying to feed Jane (that can be harder that it looks), and was cooking dinner for her and I in the common kitchen. I thought I was alone, so I had plugged in my ipod and was singing along the music, doing my own business, you know? I didn't expect a Norse god to scare the shit out of me. That fucker almost got a knife thrown at. That didn't start well. I tried to ignore him as best as I could, but him turning off my music didn't help in the matter.

I glared at him.

"If you **test** me, you will fail," I said.

His eyebrows raised up and surprise came across his face, but he gained back his composure quickly after.

"Isn't that... from Star Trek?" He asked after a pause. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"It is. I didn't know you were a Trekker."

"I've been one since the first television show. Apparently there's a lot of things we don't know about each other. Good evening, Miss Lewis."

He was the one who had been a bitch to me since the beginning, and now he was having a mood swing? And the way he said that, it almost seemed like a promise. And "Miss Lewis"? Nobody calls me that.

It's been about an hour since the even and I still don't know what to think of it. Should I be worried? Ah, screw that, I'm always worried for my well-being when it comes to Loki. Now I regret quoting Sulu from the latest Star Trek movie, but it's not like I've been watching it ten times already, nope. I mean, did you see the cast? It's a real festival of handsome men!

_Darcy~_

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Now I know why some of you ladies like to read my posts. You're a lot more perverted than I am, and that means a lot! No, I won't ask Loki why he's called the Silver Tongue, or what kinds of magic tricks he can do. His weird behaviour since the incident have gotten worse, so I don't want to trigger anything else.

As I said, he's been really weird around me, and when I say weird, I mean he doesn't try to insult me at every change he gets. He instead seeks me to ask me stuff like , for example if I know that TV show, or movie, etc. Is it me or is he trying to... be nice to me? He's basically asking me about my interests, isn't he? Why the hell is he doing that? I want to ask Thor, but at the same time, I feel like it might seem like something it's not, you know? I'd rather not confirm anything, it's better for my nerves.

_Darcy who's going to sleep this off~_

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I still can't believe this happened. My mind is blown...

Let me try to explain, now that I have a hot chocolate to calm my mind and think more straight.

I was watching the second season of Sherlock (the second episode, I can't bring myself to watch again the last one) on the huge TV of the living room, minding my own business, when Loki appeared out of nowhere and sat beside me. I mean, real close.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, frowning at him.

He probably had expected that reaction from me, because he smirked.

"I happen to be a fan of Sherlock Holmes as well," he said.

"Oh. Well, don't bother me if you want to watch it with me."

He agreed and we watched the whole episode together. I didn't mind when he asked me questions at the end, and we actually talked together for an hour without me wanting to tase him. A miracle happened, I tell you. He wasn't the prick he had been until a week ago, he was civilised and even funny. What the hell happened for him to realize I was a person, and not an 'ant'? I have to admit I like the change, but I don't know what to expect anymore from him. Meh.

On another note, Captain America and I visited some museums today, and I wish I could have taken pictures of his face, some of his shocked and surprised expression were so funny I can't stop laughing as I type this.

_Darcy~_

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I think I made a huge mistake the other day. I told Loki he should create himself a Tumblr account so he could expand his knowledge on the humans' entertainments. He did it, and now he's browsing the site almost nonstop. He's already following like 500 blogs or something, that's crazy. For Stark to say he finds the god's behaviour weird, let me tell you it's really weird. Thor said that I was the one who had to convince him to stop going on it and do something else of his life. Now that I think about it, I don't even know what Loki usually does in the Tower. Thor is supposed to be his guardian and keep an eye on him, but I don't know anything beside that. I don't check his schedule, to be honest, I'm already busy myself. Whatever. So I went to him and we spent half an hour discussing about some Tumblr popular posts and whatnots.

I eventually told him he shouldn't stay in his room, away from the others, that Thor was worried for him, yadda yadda. It's kind of ironic, as I do like to take time on my own for days on end, but I'm not sure it's good for Loki, he needs to be around people. Oh my, am I the one who's writing this down, now?

"We could do something instead, like I could show you some cool places around here."

I shouldn't have proposed that, because his eyes sparkled and he smirked.

"Shall I propose a date then?"

I really didn't know how to react to that, and it must have been visible because Loki smiled, but it wasn't a smirk; it was a real smile.

"I realize my behaviour with you haven't always be of the best kind. (I scoffed at that.) I do apologize for that. A date with you could restart our relationship on lighter feet. What do you think?"

I totally saw through his pretty words, as you could guess.

"So what you're saying is you were an ass and want to buy me food to amend things between us? Okay, I'm in, but you're paying."

He chuckled, and nodded. We agreed for a time tomorrow, and ladies, I don't think I've been this excited and nervous about a date in my whole fucking life. How did I come to like him after all the mean things he told me, I don't get it. My brain can be so unpredictable, it's frustrating to say the least.

Hopefully, everything will go well and I won't make a fool of myself. Not that I care about it... I wish.

_Nervous Darcy~_

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Hi ladies (and gentlemen, I'm truly sorry not to include you if some men are following this eccentric blog)!

Thanks a lot for your support after my last post. You were a lot of help and heart-lifting. I did wear green like so many of you suggested, and Loki did like it. He actually complimented me about it and the way it fit all of my 'curves'. He was nicely dressed as well, in a dark grey suit with a green tie. To be honest, I would have skipped the dinner to have, you know, the dessert at once, but I wasn't sure if Loki was in for that as well. Through the evening, I could confirm that yes, with the way he looked at me throught the evening. I knew that look.

I won't tell you every details of the date, but it was very fun.

It's kind of crazy how things evolved between us over the last weeks. This blog is the proof of it. I'd never thought of falling under the god of Mischief's charm, so to speak. I had refused to acknoledge his great looks until now, but damn did he look gorgeous tonight. He has amazing green eyes... He'd win the Amazing Everything 2013 award.

Oh no! I'm becoming one of those sappy girls! What is happening to me?! Hopefully no members of the Avengers is reading my blog, I don't want to give away my image of the Tasing Girl. I even got a few dates because of that title.

But damn, nobody was able to kiss me like Loki did when we said goodbye. It was as if he knew I wanted to jump his bones. That tease only kissed me like there was no tomorrow and walked away to his room, leaving me breathless and... in some needs.

As the moral of this story, I'd say... ah, who am I kidding, this story is in no way finished. I'll keep you updated, ladies, fear not!

_Darcy the Taser Girl~_


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